Missing
by Love Your Kiwi
Summary: When a secret threatens to tear Hiei apart, he does the only thing he can think of leave Kurama so he won't be hurt by the truth. But is it really for the best? [shounen ai.lime.KuramaHiei]


**Warning. **Boy love. Don't like it, don't read it.

**Disclaimer.** I don't own Yuu Yuu Hakusho. The lyrics to "Missing" belong to Evanescence.

**.x.**

Crimson eyes opened slowly, blinking to adjust to the early morning light. Their owner's gaze settled on the sleeping beauty that lay beside him, who had yet to open his own depthless emeralds. The small man slipped out from between the warm sheets and his lover's embrace, stretching luxuriously as the dawn bathed his nude body in soft pinks and oranges.

Looking over his shoulder, he couldn't help but smile at his sleeping lover who was curled up like a child, his face the portrait of innocence. Heaving a sigh, the vertically challenged man headed for the shower, picking up clothes here and there from their resting places on the carpeted floor.

Five minutes later, he walked on silent feet back into the bedroom, tears stinging his eyes as he put his cloak on. After scribbling a quick note that only his lover could possibly read and pinning it to the pillow next to his lover's head, he placed a soft kiss on Kurama's forehead. The deliciously naked redhead smiled, and Hiei could only guess what he was dreaming of.

Brushing a few strands of hair out of his lover's face, Hiei whispered, "Please forgive me, Kurama."

His voice caught in his throat as tears of jewel made dull sounds upon hitting the carpet. His cloak swirled around his lithe body as he turned abruptly, darting out the window and perching in a nearby tree. A vice closed around his heart as he watched Kurama reach out and touch nothing but air.

More tears began to fall and crystallize as Kurama sat up, looking around in bewilderment for his lover. Fear and confusion set upon the redheaded man as his emerald eyes settled on the note beside him. Hiei turned away as Kurama's sobs reached his ears, and forced himself to leave his perch, if only to save his sanity.

Holed up in the tallest tree he could find, Hiei forced himself to believe that Kurama's cries hadn't been real. He had been watching Kurama on and off for the past week, and it seemed like nothing had changed - or so Hiei convinced himself. He felt like a considerable part of his heart had been left with Kurama, and didn't even want to imagine how his lover felt.

'But this is for the best, right? I can't get hurt and I can't hurt him,' his mind tried to ease his nerves with such thoughts.

But a little voice would never let him have peace, 'You could have just told him, you know... he wouldn't think any different of you...'

"Shut up!" he cried, clutching at his head, rocking back and forth. "You don't understand what it's like," he whimpered, his crimson eyes squeezed shut in pain. The youkai couldn't help but wonder if the fox even missed him though he told himself time and time again he couldn't bother to care.

"This is the way it has to be," he assured himself, only half-believing his own words.

**.x.**

Hiei sat on a limb overlooking Kurama's apartment, fighting with himself.

'You could go back in here, you know. He'll take you back,' the soft voice in the back of his head murmured.

"He wouldn't understand though! I have to do this," he replied, his eyes trained on the bedroom for any movement. He pulled out a scrap of paper with scribbles of dark ink on it, reading over the words he already had memorized:

_Kurama,_

_I don't know if you'll understand what I'm about to tell you, but it should explain my absence. I left because I didn't have any other choice. In less than 24 hours now, I am to be sacrificed, since I am a Forbidden Child. I want you to know it has nothing to do with you. And please look in on Yukina for more every now and then. I want to see you one last time. Meet me at the park in the sakura grove. I'll be waiting for you._

_Hiei_

There was nothing more he could say – not now. He placed a soft kiss on the paper before refolding it. In a swift yet fluid movement, he placed the note on the sill of the slightly ajar window before returning to the tree's leafy branches.

He heard the jangle of keys and the front door opening moments later, which satisfied him enough to take his leave. Flitting on nimble feet, the fire youkai bounded from tree to tree, making his way to the sakura grove in question to wait for his lover.

**.x.**

Time passed slowly for Hiei, who was sitting on a branch with his right leg dangling into nothingness. Idly, he toyed with the sakura blossoms that surrounded him. His crimson eyes drifted close as a gentle breeze ruffled his starburst-graced ebony locks. The small youkai's body went limp as sleep and dreams of his last night with Kurama claimed his attention.

An enticing whistle reached the fire demon's ears, jerking him out of his cotton-candy fantasies. His wine-red eyes landed on a gorgeous redhead, whose emerald eyes met his in a heartbeat. Swinging down from the branch, Hiei landed nimbly on his feet before the youko.

They stood in silence for what seemed an eternity before Hiei threw himself into Kurama's arms, allowing the dam to break. Tear-gems hit the ground in rapid succession, gathering at the feet of the two lovers. Silent tears pooled in Kurama's eyes, spilling over to dampen Hiei's hair. Reluctantly, Hiei pulled back, looking up at his lover with sad eyes.

"Do you want to know why this is happening?" he asked in a near-whisper.

"Because you love your sister and would rather die than see her hurt?"

The little youkai nodded solemnly, and suddenly looked so much older than his youthful appearance always implied. "I'm sorry about all this, but do you understand now?"

The taller man inclined his head slightly, his blood-hued locks bobbing with the gentle motion. "I do, yet I can't help but wish that I could change your destiny," he added, his eyes filled with pain.

Hiei bit his lip, "Ha-have you missed me?" His crimson orbs pleaded with Kurama to say anything but what was on the tip of his tongue.

The youko ignored it, "Yes, of course I have. And yourself?" Once more, Hiei's eyes did all the talking, becoming looking glasses into his heartsick soul.

'This is the last night we'll ever have together,' his mind whispered, a painful reminder if nothing else.

Kurama didn't need to be a mind reader to know what was troubling the small fire demon. He drew him into his arms, burying his face in that perfect starburst.

As twilight faded into darkness, the two lovers joined their bodies as one for the final time. Dawn found the pair curled up in each other's arms, their faces written with pleasure. Hiei stirred as sunlight danced upon his eyelids, his mind in disarray until his memory brought up why he was in a sakura grove with Kurama and not in the apartment they shared.

Smiling fondly down at his exhausted lover, he reminisced, 'Even if this is my last sunrise, I can't think of a better way to spend it...'

With that, the fire youkai closed his eyes again and fell back into a peaceful slumber; not quite ready to face what the day held for him.


End file.
